Happiness and suffering are both merely states of mind. Therefore to truly be free from suffering and enjoy happiness in every moment, it is imperative that we possess a thorough and profound understanding of the mind and how to maintain control over it.This is the best, most reliable way by which we can greatly improve our quality of life both now and in the future.
While we definitely use our mind each and every day, very few of us have taken time to cultivate a deep understanding of its nature and function.
Sometimes things don’t go the way we want them to. Sometimes we feel inundated with challenges and difficulties. Out of habit, our normal reaction to these events is to regard the situation itself as the problem. Happiness and suffering only exist within the mind.In reality, however, all of our problems arise from our own mind. To those unfamiliar with their mind, this sounds counter-intuitive or completely false, but if we take the time to investigate deeply we will discover this truth for ourselves.
When we can respond to life’s difficulties with a positive and peaceful mind, they suddenly seem to melt away into nothing right before our eyes. Indeed, we may even come to view them as exciting challenges for personal and spiritual growth. Problems only really arise when we adopt a negative state of mind in response to a difficult or unexpected situation. Because of this, if we want to free ourselves from all our problems, we must gain control of our mind.
Anger, for example, corrupts our view of others so that they appear intrinsically bad. However, there is no such thing as an intrinsically bad person.
Here are ways to increase your peace of mind:
1. Do your most discouraging task first in the morning
It’s tempting to start your day with easy tasks. Don’t. Pushing a discouraging task back is like holding a glass of water in an outstretched arm. At first nothing happens, but if you do it for hours or even days, you will soon feel the stress. Do the most annoying task first thing in the morning, and enjoy increased productivity and peace of mind for the rest of the day.
2. Let go of things you don’t control
You make plans to go outside with friends. But at the last minute, it starts raining. What’s your reaction?
Some people upset and angry, and find the nearest person and start complaining to them. “It’s not FAIR that it’s raining. This _always_ happens to me!…”
That’s not going to accomplish anything – the rain won’t stop just because you throw a tantrum. *The rain doesn’t care.* So make the best of the situation. What I do in such situation is go for a quick walk in the park (because rain has its own awesomeness), or just lie in bed reading a good Terry Pratchett book, listening to the rain beating on my window.
Make the most of what you do control, and don’t worry about what you don’t.
3. Don’t worry about what others are thinking
I used to be very self-conscious about my dancing. I would rarely go out with my friends, and even if I did, I wouldn’t dance, instead just standing awkwardly by the side, because I was worried of what others would think.
Then, one day in high school, I decided that enough was enough. So the next time I went out with my friends, I just went to the dance floor, and danced like nobody was watching. And the funny thing was – nobody cared. In fact, people only liked me MORE, because I was having fun.
Don’t worry about what others are thinking of you – most likely they’re too busy wondering what others are thinking of them.
4. List 3 things you love about your situation right now
Just list 3 simple things about any part of your life that you love. Like “3 simple things I love about the room I’m in right now”, or “3 simple things I love about this week”, or anything else.
This is a great technique if you’re ever bored while stuck in traffic, or waiting in the grocery store checkout lane. You can immediately transform boredom into happiness and peace of mind!
5. Walk to a window, look outside, and take a single deep breath
Just walk to a window, look outside, and then take a single deep breath, focusing only on that breath and nothing else in the whole world. This technique sounds extremely simple, but you won’t believe how much it can instantaneously increase your peace of mind.
6.Set limits
If your life is overfilled you may need to set some limits. So stop doing some of the least important things, the things that honestly don’t matter that much. Set a limit for how many times you will check inboxes, Instagram, Twitter etc. per day. And say no if you really don’t have the time
7. Find a relaxation technique that works for you
I like belly breathing and working out to release tensions and recharge during the day. What works for you? Long walks, music, yoga, meditation or going for a swim? Find out and do that.
8. Don’t make mountains out of molehills
This can create a lot of unnecessary stress. When facing what looks like a mountain ask yourself questions like: Does someone on the planet have it worse than me right now? Will this matter in 5 years? These questions help you to zoom out and realize that things may not be that bad and that you can handle them.
9. Slow down
Your emotions work backwards too. If you slow down while walking, moving your body or talking you can often start to feel less stressed (compared to if you move/talk fast). Slowing down to decrease stress goes for many other things you do in everyday life too like riding your bicycle, working at your desk and eating.
10. Unclutter your world, unclutter your mind
Just take 3 minutes to declutter your workspace or the room you’re in. A uncluttered, simplified and ordered space around you brings clarity and order to the mind. So don’t stop there. Declutter, simplify and organize your home and life too to live in a more relaxing environment.
11. Use a minimalistic workspace
‘My work space is just a laptop on a wooden desk. I use a comfy chair and there is room for my glass of water beside the computer. That’s it. There are no distractions here. Just me, the computer and the water. This brings peace and makes it easier to focus during my working hours.
12. Be 10 minutes early.
It’s a small habit but it has transformed much of my travel time during the year from a slightly or very stressful time to periods of relaxation and recharging.
13. Accept and let go
Now is now. But if something negative from the past – something someone said, something someone did – is still on your mind then accept and let that feeling and thought in instead of trying to push it away. When you accept that it is then it starts to lose power. And while the facts may still be there in your head the negative feelings become a lot less powerful. At this point, let that thing go like you are throwing out a bag of old clothes. And direct your focus to the present moment and something better instead.
14. Ask instead of guessing
Reading minds is pretty much impossible. But still we often try it and create anxiety, uncertainty and misguided conclusions for ourselves. So ask and communicate instead. It may sometimes be a bit hard at first but it can save you and the people around you so much trouble in the long run.
15. Solve a problem that is weighing down on you
Don’t procrastinate anymore. Solve your problem and release it and all the underlying stress and tension that it is creating in your life. You probably already know what to do, you are just not doing it yet. But the longer you wait the worse the tension inside becomes. So get up from your chair and get started on doing it for just 1-3 minutes right now.
